Sunday, July 22, 2012

My Only Sunshine

I've been sitting in front of my laptop for a couple of hours now, thinking what to blog. And then it dawned on me that I haven't made a post yet about my daughter. And since she's on her 28th month today, I think this would be the perfect time to this. 

Everyone, meet my lovely daughter, LOUIS FAITH.
I found out about her in, let us say, the most inconvenient time possible. At that time, my then-boyfriend (now husband) and I decided to call it quits. I was in the office the first time I took the P-test, and my mind went wandering the whole afternoon thinking and worrying. I even thought the kit was broken and so I took everything back to where I bought it. But the saleslady didn't give me the answer I wanted to hear. And so I bought another one. And another. Still, 2 lines. 

Suddenly, everything else didn't matter to me anymore. I was too preoccupied in thinking about what would happen to me and to the baby. You see, my dad has been very strict on us when we were growing up. And I remembered him clearly saying when he found out one of my cousins got pregnant, "Pag sa inyo nangyari yan, papalayasin ko kayo." I was too scared and unprepared to face and tell anyone, especially my parents. Oh, and did I tell you that my then-boyfriend (now husband) was still studying at that time? So yeah, dagdag pa yun worries ko. Plus, there were still so much that I wanted to do that I know I couldn't afford to do with a baby. I felt so alone and lost.

But despite all those, I decided to keep the baby. With or without help. Never did it even cross my mind to have abortion. NEVER and I will forever be against it. Though it was not my plan to have a baby at that time, I trusted God that He has something good for me and that He would be with me throughout this journey. And so things went on smoothly afterwards. My then-boyfriend (now husband) and I got back together, our parents took the news positively, got married, quit my job to be a fulltime mom, yada yada yada. 

Today, as I look back to what I was before knowing about the pregnancy, I couldn't help but thank God for giving me my daughter. In more ways than one, she saved me. I'm not as "rebellious" as I was before. I stopped smoking and drink rarely now. I learned to respect and appreciate my parents now that I am one. I learned the value and to value money. I now put someone else's happiness before mine. I finally found out my purpose here on earth. To love and to care for this wonderful creature. To be her mom. I never knew I had so much love to give till she came.

It's amazing how this not-so-little kid teaches me soooo much about life. I learn from her more than what I've learned from my parents, teachers and other elders combined. Everyday, I discover new things to laugh at. Figured not to worry so much. Trust and have faith in God. And that life is good. REALLY GOOD. And I can't wait with what she will teach me next. My little girl, my precious gem, my Louis Faith.

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